January 2012
59 posts
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“Listen, sex seems very complicated and confusing—but it’s very simple. The man takes his penis, puts it into a woman’s vagina, he ejaculates, and then she dies.”
—Louie
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“They just wheeled a lady through Macy’s on a gurney. She shopped ‘til she dropped.”
—M.W.
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0:28
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Prince Buster’s poignant dose of truth.
Hunter S. Thompson on Breakfast:
“Breakfast is the only meal of the day that I tend to view with the same kind of traditionalized reverence that most people associate with Lunch and Dinner. I like to eat breakfast alone, and almost never before noon; anybody with a terminally jangled lifestyle needs at least one psychic anchor every twenty-four hours, and mine is breakfast.
“…he’s the only one with a chance, but he’s wasting it riding around on a broomstick.”
—ANON
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“Humanity should trump boners, always.”
—Nerve.com
A comment on my Nerve post about the G-spot and Bigfoot both being fictional
Good thing I am into sasquatch/Santa porn.
“Ho ho ho” laughed the shirtless Santa, still sweaty from his evening reindeer ride…”what big feet you have. It must take a lot of toys to fill your stockings… ho ho ho.”
“Wrrrar” said Bigfoot, fighting her species’ instinct to flee into the woods… this white-bearded man did not smell of danger, like regular humans… in fact he smelled of balsam, much like bigfoots evergreen homeland.
“Let’s see if you like was Santa is bringing you” said the jolly man, slowly unbuttoning his pants….
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“We are all slaves to our mammalian impulses, and no amount of monocle-wearing will change that.”
—Nerve.com
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“Walked in on my roommate in the bathroom shooting heroin, taking a shit, and watching porn on his laptop all at the same time.
I knew he was a junkie and that sometimes he shit, and I imagined he watched porn, but there was something about walking in on all those things going on at once that really weirded me out.” —via the Reddit thread “What’s the weirdest thing you’ve walked in on?”
I knew he was a junkie and that sometimes he shit, and I imagined he watched porn, but there was something about walking in on all those things going on at once that really weirded me out.” —via the Reddit thread “What’s the weirdest thing you’ve walked in on?”
“YOU’VE BEEN MURKED. YOUR DANCE MOVES MADE NO SENSE!”
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