“Breakfast is the only meal of the day that I tend to view with the same kind of traditionalized reverence that most people associate with Lunch and Dinner. I like to eat breakfast alone, and almost never before noon; anybody with a terminally jangled lifestyle needs at least one psychic anchor every twenty-four hours, and mine is breakfast.
Good thing I am into sasquatch/Santa porn.
“Ho ho ho” laughed the shirtless Santa, still sweaty from his evening reindeer ride…”what big feet you have. It must take a lot of toys to fill your stockings… ho ho ho.”
“Wrrrar” said Bigfoot, fighting her species’ instinct to flee into the woods… this white-bearded man did not smell of danger, like regular humans… in fact he smelled of balsam, much like bigfoots evergreen homeland.
“Let’s see if you like was Santa is bringing you” said the jolly man, slowly unbuttoning his pants….
I knew he was a junkie and that sometimes he shit, and I imagined he watched porn, but there was something about walking in on all those things going on at once that really weirded me out.” —via the Reddit thread “What’s the weirdest thing you’ve walked in on?”