December 2011
51 posts
Brooklyn Briefcase
A big black boombox
carried in a plastic bag
pumping out tunes, yo
“As a rule he doesnt look back when he backs up the car, and he only goes either...”
THE FIRST GAY ROBOT
“My godfather just unironically said “shut up-a you face!” to my dad”
“My little brother has a little plastic ostrich named Nigger McJohnson”
– Anonymous-ish
Top Five Reasons I'm a Yuppie Now
1. My Apple iPhone is resting on my Apple Macbook.
2. I say “noon-ish”
3. Brunch? I love the fuck out of it.
4. My Twitter and Facebook are linked.
5. “Hey, let’s keep in touch.”
Zoo Rap
Ayo, yo, I’m more hood than a sweatshirt
Without internet, you’re gonna go get hurt
I’m a rude ass fella, and i’m chock full o’manners
I merk so often, that I got to use a planner
From my deskjob, I’m shining my shiv
for my homemade turkey, cause it’s less expensive
When I walk through the streets, people scared of this
cause I look real mad, when I...
“At my fourth attempt
At a Rick Astley voice mail
I simply gave up”
“I don’t think I know a single person from Oregon. Except my horse that...”
– Mallory Wu
Jeremy's Top 10 Worst Decisions of 2011
January 2011 “Hey fuck it, I don’t really need a jacket, I’ll just sell it!”
February 2011 “Ok, what if you marketed and sold 40 ounces and cigarettes duct taped together? And it’s called: The Party Starter”
March 2011 “Alright, realistically, how bad can four steak burritos a week be? Yeah, I’ll take a large steak...
My Top Five Best IPhone Game Ideas
1. Just In Time - THE SCREEN GOES BLACK ON YOUR iPHONE; the game has started. With a soundtrack of “hard rock” and “90’s alt.” you furiously tap the blackened screen. A bubble pops up and says “What time is it?!” and you guess.
2. Earthquake - Basically you shake your phone and I guess all the shit moves around.
3. Rock ‘em Sock ‘em Dead...
“yea that’s definitely a dead sea cucumber that puked it’s digestive...”
– FOUND ON REDDIT
Something I turned in for a final in college
What I have learned from Fundamentals of Speech Communication:
A paper documenting and measuring my emotional growth from a required class that ended up being more than what I thought it would be – A study of the human brain’s ability to analyze and uncover a the English language and what it can produce. - A rope of Sand What have I learned from this class? For starters, I have learned that the...
